In which Wolf explains why you can’t extend your reach, but you can extend your impact. Watch this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/rCgfcbDgPFU
When considering how to cause change, we can imagine ourselves standing at the center of a circle. The things we can reach out and touch directly define our span of control. If all the changes we wish to make are entirely within our span of control, we have the power to simply go ahead and make them.
Usually, however, things are not so simple: in our mental image, the things we control are just what lies within arm’s reach; our span of control is always quite small. In fact, our real span of control doesn’t even include things like our possessions, our health, or even how long we live. No, our span of control includes things that are much closer to us than that— like our thoughts, attitudes and values— and the actions we choose to take based on them. Sometimes we seem out of control, for instance when we’re struggling with bad habits or addictions. But each action we take to feed a habit or an addiction is a choice based on the value we wish to uphold in the moment. Remember, your values are always in a hierarchy. If we choose to re-order our values, then we will choose different immediate actions. We don’t actually control the outcome of our actions. When you shoot an arrow, or fire a gun, the value lies in taking the best shot possible. What happens after that is truly out of your control.
Before I moved away from Los Angeles, I had monthly poker nights for many years. One thing you learn by playing poker is the truth of Kenny Rogers’ song “The Gambler”: every hand’s a winner, and every hand’s a loser. The important lesson is in learning how to play the hand you’re dealt well, and being at peace with the outcome.
Although you can’t influence an arrow or bullet in flight, or the hand you’re dealt in poker, you can think of things just outside of your control as lying in your *sphere of influence*. Although we may not be able to reach out and touch these things directly, we can still cause change by cooperating with others. For example, a business may control its manufacturing processes, while it can only influence its suppliers and customers. The choices it takes to reach out to them and have discussions are within its control, the decisions those suppliers make are not.
The farther away objects are, the less influence we wield, until we reach a point where we have no significant influence. This marks the end of our sphere of influence.
Our sphere of influence is always much larger than our span of control, and is probably larger than we think. Most gratifyingly: causing positive changes within your sphere of influence has the desirable effect of expanding it. But the only way to do this is by making long strings of good decisions about the only things that really matter, the only thing you truly control: yourself.