In which Wolf tells another Buddhist parable about judging your life too quickly. Watch this episode on YouTube here: https://youtu.be/psyeSBJBLkY
In my last video I talked about not holding yourself emotionally hostage to outcomes. Sometimes it's the expectations and judgements of others that are trying to hold you hostage. I want to tell you another Buddhist parable that illustrates this beautifully.
Once there was a farmer who had one son and one horse. One day his horse ran away. When his neighbors heard about it, they came to comfort him. “Such bad luck— we’re sorry your only horse ran away.” they said.
“Who is to say whether it’s good or bad, replied the farmer. All I can say for sure is, my horse has run away. Time will tell whether this is good or bad.” His neighbors just shook their heads and walked away.
A week later, his horse returned home— along with twenty wild horses!!!
His neighbors, upon hearing the news, came to congratulate him. “What good luck you have. Not only did your horse return, but he brought with him twenty more. Such a lucky man you are!”
“Who is to say whether it’s good or bad— All I know is my horse has come home along with twenty wild horses— and leave it at that.” Again, his neighbors shook their heads and scoffed – “Of course it’s good luck you old fool! Twenty new horses is obviously good luck!”
The next week the farmer’s son was out riding in the pen with the new horses, fell off and broke his leg. Upon hearing the news, the neighbors came over to comfort the farmer. “You were right: Those wild horses were not a sign of good fortune— now your son has broken his leg, and right before the harvest. Such bad luck!”
Again the farmer replied— “Why do you constantly want to label something as good or bad. Why can’t you just say, “My son has broken his leg while riding a horse and leave it at that. Who is to say whether it is good or bad?”
Upon hearing this, the neighbors became indignant: “Listen old man, to have your son break his leg at this time is unfortunate and a sign of bad luck. You are such a fool to think otherwise!”
The following week, an army came to town and drafted all the eligible young men, and sent them off to war in a far away place. They did not take the farmer’s son on account of his broken leg. Afterwards, the people were heartbroken and came to the farmer in tears— “You were right! Our sons are gone, and we’ll probably never see them again. Such bad luck our town has experienced!”
The old farmer (again) said— “Why do you continue to insist an event is good or bad? We do not know the end from the beginning. Why can’t you just say, Our sons have been drafted, and only time will tell if it is good or not.
When I look back on my life, I see this same sort of roller coaster of events: I had jobs and then other jobs. I had religion then lost it. I got married, had kids, got divorced, and then had a lot more ups and downs when I was single again, as I learned a lot more about who I really was and what I really wanted, and finally remarried to a woman I knew was right for me. I might have been happy or sad in those various moments, but it's only from my vantage point of looking back on them now that I can actually make sense of them and learn the wisdom that my life has been teaching me all along. And the story of my life is still being told, as is yours: there are things that are happening to you, or that will happen to you, that will open or close more doors, and like the farmer in the story it's wise to not celebrate or grieve too much, because you don't really know yet what these things mean.
But what do you think? Let me know in the comments, and if you’re interested in raising the bar on your own thinking and helping the world become a more thoughtful place, please consider subscribing. See you tomorrow!